IT'S NOT COMMERCIALIZED
(part two of the Hawaii Chronicles)

I don't remember much of what we did during the day on Tuesday but it's safe to assume it involved sleeping, lounging on the beach, eating, sleeping on the beach, eating... I will say this about the Japanese though - they come up with some nifty stuff. I saw people walking around with digital cameras that were practically the size of a credit card and camcorders that were the size of my digital camera. Our condo also had some kind of Japanese toilet that could be best described as having a built-in bidet. I can see the practicality of such but I’m really not comfortable using a booty-washing toilet. Of course I tried it out but I won’t be buying one for the new house. You could adjust the water pressure and temperature but trickle or torrent, cool or warm, I just don’t like warm being squirted onto my booty. And wouldn’t you know, you could adjust it to hit the front too. I can just see some kinky woman using that thing as a simultaneous vibrator/self-colonic. LOL.

The highlight of the evening was checking out a show at the Marriott Ko'Olina (sp?). Dinner and the show was ~$65pp but I wasn’t feeling it since I’m ballin’ on a budget. We just showed up, bought a few drinks from the nearby bar and moseyed on over and sat down in the back. Halfway through, another couple sat down at our table. The woman said she’d lived in LA for the past twenty years, yet she had the strangest southern accent. She kept talking all throughout the show trying to convince us how “authentic” she is when she travels. She was saying how she didn’t like going to the “commercialized” tours that are offered because the people are being exploited. She then proceeded to tell us about the “authentic” tour she’d taken earlier in the day, complete with tour guide and tour bus. She thought the fact that they were transported in “the filthiest bus you’ve ever seen” made it authentic. LOL. I guess the show wasn’t authentic enough for her though because she left before it was over.

I have to say the show was quite entertaining though. They showcased performers from all of “Polynesia” (Hawaii, Samoa, Tonga and somewhere else). Strippers ain’t got nothing on those hula girls. I’ve never seen hips move so much or so fast in my life. They even had a five year old out there shaking it like a saltshaker. I don’t know if “tribal” dance is pretty much the same all over the world or what but I swear the male dancers were stepping. I saw moves that I’ve seen done by all the fraternities out there. It felt like being back in college again. I think that was the part of the show I enjoyed the most. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s episode of the Hawaii Chronicles…